Creative Arboriculture

When I'm not being a dog-geek, I'm busy in the lab being a molecular biologist. And when lab experiments go terribly wrong, we like to avoid using words like "slip-up" or "mistake" or "disaster" or "catastrophe" or "@#$%&!" We prefer to stay positive and politically correct, so instead, we use the term "creative science." We have a whole bulletin board devoted to items accidentally melted in the autoclave and tubes crushed in the centrifuge, and so on.

Well, I think whoever did the original landscaping on our property might have been into Creative Arboriculture. For example, take a look at this tree:

Can you spot the problem? Yes? No? Okay, I'll help you out, whether you need it or not. Here's a little hint for you:

Weeping Cherry trees are usually cultivated by grafting or budding. One tree is used as the root stock (in this case the Cherry Blossom tree), and once it reaches a certain height, a slot is cut in the bark and a weeping cherry bud is inserted. Once the bud has grafted itself to the root stock tree and started growing, the limbs of the original tree are removed, and any new shoots that grow below the graft must be removed. Otherwise, you will end up with limbs growing straight up through your weeping cherry tree, which kind of ruins the effect. Since our tree is approximately half and half, it is hard to know if someone created this effect on purpose, or if this is just an epic fail. And while on a summer day like this it just looks a little odd, it is a lot worse in the spring, since the two halves don't quite bloom at the same time.

But if you thought that was bad, check out this fellow:

Really? I mean, what the heck? I don't even know what to say about this one. Mr. Farmer Dog-Geek insists that it is too ugly to live and threatens every few months to cut it down. And I have to admit, it has gotten progressively crazier looking every year that we have lived here. But it is a good conversation piece, I guess. As long as no one blames me!